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  • Writer's pictureEmma + Fin

Episode 88 - Eliza + Mark

Updated: May 22, 2020

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This week we get a fantastic look at how different partners can fulfill different needs in your life. Mark and Eliza have been together for a few years and have been exploring polyamory since the beginning. One of the best quotes from the episode is "We love each other and our relationship but it's not the most important thing in either of our lives."

We also recorded an addendum for this episode after Mark was recently diagnosed with HPV. They talk about how the diagnosis impacted both of them and shared a ton of amazing information. This is a super valuable listen for anyone facing an STI diagnosis, regardless of which STI it is.

Eliza + Mark's Email:


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Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Online STI Testing | STD

Online Dating | Kasidie

Online Dating | Swing Lifestyle

Online Dating | OK Cupid

Online Dating | Tinder

Online Dating | Bumble

Online Dating | Hinge

Online Dating | Coffee Meets Bagel

Online Dating | Fetlife

Additional Resources + Talking Points Around HPV from Eliza & Mark:

They were misdiagnosed as razor bumps the first time I had them looked at, so I continued to expose partners for several months.

Almost everyone who is sexually active will be infected with HPV at some point.

HPV strains are different from warts that infect other parts of the body; you can’t get genital warts from someone who has warts on their fingers.

About 79 million Americans are thought to have an active HPV infection at any given time, according to the CDC. An additional 14 million people become newly infected with HPV each year—about 1% of sexually active men and women.

It’s not especially easy to transmit. There's research indicating that only 20% of couples having sex on average 4 times a week will pass it to the uninfected partner within 6 months, and that’s with many of them not using condoms.

Most people (about 90%) will clear it naturally within 2 years or so. (But it could take longer, and in some cases it can remain in the body for decades.)

One study suggests that Imiquimod 5% cream will clear them within 4 months for about 50% of people. Warts can reoccur.

The two types of HPV that cause 90% of genital warts — types 6 and 11 — do not cause cancer. However, some types of HPV that are associated with cancer have been found in genital warts.

Shaving or waxing (even if you don’t draw blood) can damage the skin and make you more susceptible to HPV or HSV, because HPV infects rapidly dividing cells—anywhere there’s a little trauma, tear, or abrasion, the body can pick up the virus and bring it inside the cells. It might be a good idea to groom a day or two before you have sex, but I don’t have any data to support that hypothesis.

Oral sex can cause warts in the mucosal tissues of the mouth and throat. In most cases, your “immune system will clear the infection without any symptoms. In very rare cases, the virus will persist and cause a condition known as recurrent respiratory papillomatosis (RRP). People with RRP develop warts in their throat which can become large enough that they cause hoarseness or trouble breathing.

“Genital warts typically develop four weeks to eight months after contracting one of the types of HPV that cause genital warts. However, HPV can also replicate without causing symptoms for several years before genital warts appear.”

For cancer-causing strains (not the most common wart varieties), “cervical cancer typically develops 20 to 25 years after the initial HPV infection.” Other cancers can take similar lengths of time to appear.

GARDASIL 9 is a vaccine for the prevention of cervical, vulvar, vaginal, and anal cancers caused by human papillomavirus (HPV) Types 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52, and 58; precancerous or dysplastic lesions caused by HPV Types 6, 11, 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52, and 58; and genital warts caused by HPV Types 6 and 11.

An older version of GARDASIL targeted four strains of human papillomavirus (HPV)—HPV-6, 11, 16, and 18. HPV-16 and HPV-18 account for about 70% of all cervical cancers. HPV-6 and -11 cause about 90% of genital warts.

Summary of Links


Music Attribution

Monkeys Spinning Monkeys by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Attribution 3.0 International License.


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